I've Moved!

Thats right, I've vacated the premisis. You can find me at:

aernyc.wordpress.com

Visit! And visit often!

Le Freak out

To set the scene....the latin lover and me were lying in bed after a rather fun session watching Die Hard With a Vengeance realizing that this was probably one of, if not the, last night we'd be in such a compromising position without being caught. Things were going well, i was enjoying the fact that he actually was cuddling with me rather than running out the door and making me feel alittle slutty.

Suddenly out of NOWHERE he starts asking me my view on prochoice and abortion! And to top it off he goes to me: "If you ever were, you know, pregnant, call me. I may be a jerk and be like what the fuck are we going to do?! but i mean call me."

Where the hell did that come from?!

Theres a variety of options as to why he could have possibly thought of this:

-While Bruce and Samuel L Jackson were beating the shit out of the guys on the boat he must have mistaken the bad guys as baby fetuses.

-He thought Bruce was looking a little preggo.

-This was his way of confirming the fact that yes, i've gained weight this summer off of fried shit and soda.

Other than that I can't really explain why, after having sex, you would talk about pregnancy!? ESPECIALLY with the fling ending in a week and a half. Talk about freaaaaaky.

So that led me to get very drunk at the bar, flirt with another guy while listening to Winston and Tim jam and ended up kissing said guy. Talk about slutty. Luckily I was in the dark of the yard in the back of the restaurant when said kiss happened so rumors aren't circulating. Sadly, he wasn't as good of a kisser as the latin lover. Which is too bad because hes cute and actually lives in Manhattan.

Not that that would stop me from seeing him again.

I'm so getting myself into trouble this summer. We were discussing at the bar my lush tendencies, which is quite ironic seeing how i was sitting in a bar when we were having this conversation. We reminisced over my exorcism of room 128 (i do work at Hotel Hell) after having way too many glasses of heroin--i mean heron--and my nights of baileys, the crack (yes we name our wine after drugs) and martinis. And how i live at that friggin bar.

Hi, my name is Ashley, and I lived in Montauk all summer.

To the Guests at Hotel Hell

Dear Guests,

I am not god. I may look like one, and act like I should be treated like one at times, but contrary to all that, I AM NOT GOD. Therefore, I cannot turn off the rain and warm things up for you. So stop your complaining and deal with it. The sun will come out tomorrow. And no i will not give you a refund just because it decided to pour on your vacation. Hotel Hell may cause all the problems in the world but it did not cause this one.

Also, while I may look like a plumber/electrician/computer technician/carpenter/housekeeper/someone who actually gives a fuck, I cannot fix all the problems at the hotel. Especially not all at the same time. Theres only one of me, and i only work the front desk and solve design issues. I will not rebuild the hotel for you.

If there is a line out the door and both my phones are ringing and i am the only one here, do not give me attitude. Unless you plan on jumping behind the desk and helping me answer the phones and check everyone in and resolve every issue the hotel has I do not want to hear about how long you had to wait. Again, not god, only one of me, can't do everything.

I hope you have a WONDERFUL stay at Hotel Hell. If you have any compliments please send them my way, if any complaints please leave immediately. I don't want to hear them.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Hotel Hell Slave

PS. No, i'm not in a bad mood. :-P

The latino pissed me off today. As he has been doing a lot lately. I mean he didnt piss me off that much, not like the time at the bonfire at the beach when we all went surfing and he decided to talk smack about me in front of me to another girl he was trying to impress. THAT made me hostile. (Why do i put up with him? oh yeah, the sex is good.) And considering i'm only seeing him for two more weeks and i really don't have much of an attachment to him anymore I let this stuff go. Why cause drama when i have 2 weeks left? Rather enjoy myself. Of course this is soooo much easier said than done.

So i'm sitting at the bar next to him and he starts talking about this russian chick he met at the bar and who he gave his number to. She called him and he wasn't enthusiastic and said to the bartender that he wasn't interested but that she was hot and i'm sitting there like ok i know we're nothing official or anything but i am sleeping with you. I would like to know that i'm safe from whatever diseases you might contract from sleeping with other girls. Because according to him, he sleeps with girls that hes not interested in. I may be case in point.

I mean he did at one point like me. Until I liked him back and then that ended things lol. Now we're just fuck buddies despite his complaining that i'm just using him for sex.

What guy would complain about that?!

So this woman gave birth to her grandchildren. Thats nice and all, but talk about leverage.

"I'm getting old and don't want to live alone, can I come live with you guys?" -Mom
"Well....I don't know....."-Daughter
"I gave birth to you AND your children." -Mom
"Can't really argue with that...."-Daughter

Just think of all the arguments you'd lose because of that fact.

On another note, its not even 9am yet. I'm exhausted, can't even think straight, and i'm supposed to be functioning enough to explain to people that we have no hot water because the pipes are old and please dont ask for a refund because you really do love our hotel.

I seriously had to explain to a guy this morning that my brain was just not working right now after spending 5 minutes coming up with an answer to "What are your rates?"

The answer was sitting on the computer screen in front of me. And I was staring at it.

Just another long day at Hotel Hell.

PS I have quite the crush on Cute Singer Guy. (identity kept secret to protect the innocent, and the girlfriend lol. Of course I would have the crush on the Attached Cute Singer Guy.

Someones watching me.

Or thats what it feels like. After writing that whole post on "i'm over him" and feeling pretty good about myself, I get an email.

From. Him.

Just a friendly Hope alls well and congrats on almost being done with school.

Sometimes I hate coincidences because it makes me think "what is the universe trying to tell me?"

Probably nothing but i'm a girl and i overanalyze EVERYTHING.

Releasing.

I think I have reached a milestone in getting over my very own Mr. Big. (If i haven't told anyone this, my life is like a sex and the city season--Carrie and samantha all rolled into one)

I have finally come as close to peace with the whole situation as I think I'm ever going to be. For the past 4 months I have been pretty upset/angry/insert emotional outburst here. Its winded down to just anger as of recently, thinking about him no longer sends me into hysterics and i haven't shed one tear for him in 2 months. But now I can think about him and not want to rip him a new asshole for the shitty way he treated me at the end. I now know he was just doing that to slow things down and ease the pain for both of us. Even though breaking it off was the most painful experience as of that point in my life that I've had to go through. The next most painful thing in my life was beating myself up with my laptop. Now THAT fing hurt. and i actually have a scar to prove it! OK i'm starting to drift...back to the point.

He helped me realize what i wanted from a relationship. He showed me how i could be treated by someone, and he taught me some important lessons.

Like no matter how amazing and intense a relationship, the guys not leaving his wife.

I'm downright ok with everything. When, of course, I'm not beating myself up for being an idiot and actually doing something as scummy as that. And no that was not why I attacked myself with my laptop. That occured after 2 margaritas and lack of common sense. Oh wait, thats how this relationship developed (minus the margaritas, maybe a couple baileys on the rocks...)

I may be close to being completely over him. I dont think I can be friends with him ever again, but theres a good chance my issues of intimacy might be resolved.

I hope.

I am so indecisive I have to rely on a test

So I took this test (http://www.bestplaces.net/fybp/) to see where the best place for me to live would be, since i'm going through that very crisis. After answering all these questions and being certain that NYC was not the place for me and that it could not possibly land within the top 5, maybe the top 10 because, after all, I love NYC.

It was number one.

That is soooo not helping me decide where I should live! AND number 2? Boston! And we all know that will not happen. Did i not say that mild winters were the most important? Last I heard, Boston, AND NYC (for a fact i know this) has a lot of white stuff I do not like. However, Boston is the home of the Red Sox, my favorite team so it can't be all bad....

Luckily number 3 is San Fransisco, a city that has recently made its way onto my top 5 places I would like to move to, despite me never having been there (i think i had a dream about living there, that could have been the reason it ended up on my list). Seattle was #9 and Washington DC was #5. But Raleigh-Duram NC was #60!! (NC was moving up on my list, close to #2, should I reconsider?)

I like how i take a test so seriously that i'd consider moving my choice of places around. Although this test may know better than me--i've never been to most places that I want to live, outside of Atlanta and Seattle (and at 3 years old, I wasn't the best judge of place)

So far the places I would like to live:

1. Seattle
2. North Carolina
3. San Fransisco (very close to being #2)
4. Atlanta/Savannah GA
5. Miami, FL

PS I was being sneaky and decided to eliminate the northeast all together, and San Fran was # 1, Seattle # 3 and Miami #10. I so love cheating on tests...